Jean Kerr, an American author and playwright once said, “Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.”
Today is Mother’s Day. And as a single parent, I’ve learned a thing or two about being a mother, as well as a father. And as most any parent can attest, Jean Kerr is correct. Once you have a baby - whether you are a mother or a father - thereafter you indeed have it. And gladly so. But they also have you. It’s a two-way possession.
Some families have happy stories and some not so happy. I, along with many of you, was very fortunate to have the family I was born into. My mom and dad, at 77 and 85 respectively, are every bit the parents to me now that they have been for 48 years, although naturally their role has evolved somewhat as the years go by.
The other day I was on the phone with one of my older daughters, and she was clearly sounding under the weather. I inquired as to her health and she went on to describe a pretty gloomy picture.
As comfortable as I am with the written and spoken word, this particular daughter exceeds me in natural talent. Although we have both performed on stage, again, she’s better. This girl can describe the process of paint drying and transform it into a riveting dramatic event! None of her talent was lost on her description of her most recent malady.
Nevertheless, stripped bare of any possible embellishment, I’m sure the symptoms she was experiencing were not pleasant. A sensation of liquid in her throat and breathing passages. The feeling of someone standing on her chest. And unrelenting coughing spasms. Whatever the description, it didn’t sound pretty.
My advice? Put down the Persian cat, snuff out the Cuban cigar, and go outside and breathe some fresh air already! Don’t I a make a good Dr. Mom? My empathy is touching isn’t it?
Seriously, I was naturally concerned. I asked her questions about other symptoms. She apparently didn’t have a fever or sweating and wasn’t feeling weakness or pain in the balance of her body. I told her to take it seriously and to get it checked out soon. But in the meantime, I recommended calling the real Dr. Mom in the family; her Grandma, my mom. At 77, she’s still the star in that role for her kids and grandkids.
“Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this,” said Jean Kerr, “is that thereafter you have it.”
We care about our children and grandchildren and we rely on our parents for good advice. If we had sought and heeded more of their advice when we were younger, we probably wouldn’t need to seek so much as we get older J Kids make note.
In John chapter 19, verses 16 and following we can read about Jesus being led to a place called Golgotha, being translated, “The Place of the Skull.”
Pilate wrote what was from his perspective a sarcastic inscription and put it on the cross. “Jesus the Nazarene, The king of the Jews.” It was written in Hebrew, Latin and Greek, lest any passer-by might miss the implication - don’t challenge leadership else this lovely consequence might befall even you.
The soldiers took Jesus’ outer garment like animals rummaging through a dumpster and tore it into four parts, one part for each of them. They cast lots for his tunic. “Therefore,” the Bible says, “the soldiers did these things.” But standing by the cross observing this, doubtless with tears in her eyes and a hole in her chest was Jesus’ mother Mary.
Elizabeth Stone, an illustrator of children’s books from right here in Michigan once said, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
Whatever discomfort my children might have, I feel it three-fold inside myself. All my daughters are a part of me. Once you have them, thereafter they’re yours. We are all God’s. He is our Father. We exist, therefore we are thereafter His.
Once we are converted we are thereafter also Christ’s. We’re family. We matter and they care for us deeply. When we hurt, they hurt. When we’re happy in a good thing, Heaven smiles with us. Our Heavenly Father is the ultimate “Dr. Mom.” And Jesus, the great physician.
Christian Scientist often referred to the Almighty as our “Father-Mother” God. To us that might sound a little weird, but to the extent that God is the only “parent” of the human race, He fills both roles. And to that degree, Mrs. Eddy (that denomination’s founder), was correct.
There are some things that I go to my dad about. And there are others I feel more comfortable talking with my mother about. They have different perspectives on certain things and played different parental roles while I was growing up. They both have their strong suits and expertise.
But we should feel free to go to our Heavenly Father with any question and any need. He is Dr. Mom and Abba Father all rolled into one and He performs His role to perfection.
On this Mother’s Day, let us consider what a Mom is worth. Dateline Boston (sometime this Century): “If a stay-at-home mom could be compensated in dollars rather than personal satisfaction and unconditional love, she'd rake in a nifty sum of nearly $117,000 a year.” Ladies, are you ready to back-bill your husbands!
This is according to a study by Salary.com, a Waltham, Massachusetts-based firm that studies workplace compensation.
The biggest driver of a mom's theoretical salary is the amount of overtime pay she'd receive for working more than 40 hours a week. The 18,000 moms surveyed about their typical week reported working 94.4 hours — meaning they'd be spending more than half their working hours on overtime.
Working moms
[and dads] reported an average 54.6 hour "mom work week" besides the hours they spent at paying jobs.
Being a parent is much more than a full time job. It’s full time, it’s over time, and it’s forever. Do we feel a little sympathy and/or empathy for our moms now? And our dads too?
You have to love this message from a church sign, “If evolution is true, how come mother’s still only have two hands?”
What if your mom or dad’s work week was 7 days, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year since the beginning of time? What if they had tens of billions of children? Talk about a super parent! Well, that’s the reality of our Heavenly Father. We humans take so much for granted.
“Before I got married,”
said John Wilmot, the 17th century, 2nd Earl of Rochester England, “I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.”
A certain child psychologist said, “Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it” (Haim Ginott).
Evangelist Chuck Swindoll expands upon that by pointing out that, “Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.”
You know, that’s exactly right. Our parents had a lot to do with the foundation upon which we built our lives. If your parents introduced you to things spiritual, to God and His Christ, then you owe them a debt of gratitude for that along with the many other things that helped you grow.
Mary loved her son. And Jesus loved her back. It’s interesting to note that the first miracle recorded that he performed was at the request of his mother. Jesus turned water into wine. And according to the host of the party, it was the good stuff too!
Mary watched her son die a cruel and undeserved death. She could do nothing. She was just a peasant, and beyond that a woman. In those days, no one was going to listen to her. I’m sure she wept.
Whatever we do in life, we should do it to the glory of God. We should be the best we can be. For some that will mean doing great things in the eyes of the world. Billy Graham is a great evangelist, with solid moral character who is known and respected worldwide.
But there are many others who have also done great things for God in a much less public way. Whatever our calling, wherever God guides us to be, we should do it to His glory.
Parenting is one of those things. If you’re a mom, how can you do that job to the glory of God? Well, you can live your life in a manner that God can smile upon. Setting a good example for your children.
When welfare reform was going on a few years ago, people talked of how welfare was being handed down like a cherished legacy from one generation to another. That of course was not a good thing. It was a trend that needed to be broken. People needed to be freed from that life of bondage. They needed to be uplifted in spirit more than in money.
But there are things we can pass on to our children that are positive legacies. We can live a godly life of honesty, good morals and strong ethics. We can be a good spouse to their other parent. We can demonstrate love in every aspect of our life. We can love them, cherish them, nurture them, appreciate the gift they are.
There is one job that all of us, young or old, male or female, a parent or not share. And that job is to spread God’s love and we can do that in so many ways. Jesus said to his disciples, "This is my commandment, that you love one another just as I have loved you."
May these words live in your heart this Mother’s Day, this week to come, and throughout your lives.
